Life Stranded On An Island

I like fire.

One might call a younger version of me a pyromaniac, and I'm okay with that. In fact, I think pyromaniacs get a bad rep.

Do you know how many times I've been camping and had to help fellow campers start their fire? You can't cook without a fire. And do you know how often I've known exactly how to put out a campfire when it's getting out of control? My pyro roots serve me well, and now that I've found an outlet for my love of fire in the great outdoors, everything is in healthy balance.

But when I don't have a good outlet for my pyromaniac tendencies, I get hungry to burn things. And unfortunately, I usually burn bridges.

Old connections, stagnant relationships, networks that don't serve my immediate goals--all get burned up like dead brush.

But about three years ago, I moved away from my home of 28 years and into a drastically different environment. I found myself with no friends, no connections, and no opportunities.

I was an island.

I'd spent the past several years gleefully burning all my bridges, and when I needed a path to take off my island, there was none.

Han Solo's Younger Brother

I'm usually a loner. Solo player, solo hiker, solo worker. Just call me Victor Solo. But being solo is one hell of a disadvantage in this crazy game we call Life.

What's weird is I know all the famous quotes about loneliness and how goals aren't achieved solo.

"Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean." - Ryunosuke Satoro

"It takes a lot of people to make a winning team." - Babe Ruth

"No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main." - John Donne

It takes a village to raise a child and blah blah blah.

But listen, take it from a guy who was stranded on an island for a while: it's better with a village at your back. A village isn't technically required to raise a child; you can do it on your own. But obviously, it's better to have a village.

Likewise, you can achieve your goals on your own, especially with the help of AI. But it's better with a village. Not just because you can ask for help, brainstorm ideas, receive support, and get immediate feedback. But because you have people to share your success and celebrate your victories with you. That's huge. AI can't do that. Yet.

I've achieved so many goals solo. Climbed Blood Mountain solo. Hiked Fakahatche Swamp solo. Fought off a bobcat and a bear solo. Opened a business, started a new career, got featured in magazines, won awards--all solo. But I'll tell you right now, all of those accomplishments would've been better with a squad to celebrate with.

It's Bad, M’kay?

"Isolation is the dream killer," as Barbera Sher said in her TedXTalk years ago, and she couldn't be more correct. But isolation isn't just the dream killer, it's the people killer, too. We know for a fact that isolation physically hurts you. We've known for years that isolation amongst older populations is a key cause of declining health.

But it's not just the old geezers who are at risk; we're at risk. You're at risk. Ever since we had global shutdowns, health organizations have been more interested in the effects of isolation, and they're finding it's negative across the board.

This is a bit tricky for someone like me who craves solitude. But solitude and isolation are two very different things. Solitude is a temporary state. Isolation can go on indefinitely.

So, okay; you want to achieve goals, but you're having a hard time because you're on an island. What do you do?

Stop burning everything in sight. Build. Build bridges instead.

I Taught Bob The Builder Everything He Knows

The cool thing about building bridges, aka making connections and networking, is that you decide who to build bridges to. If you think that guy over there is an asshole, don't build a bridge to him. If you think that lady is more trouble than she's worth, don't devote resources for a bridge.

But if you see someone you respect, admire, or just plain think is cool, build a bridge to them. What does that look like? Form a connection with them. Whatever establishes some kind of human interaction. Then add to it. Look for ways to be helpful, even if it's just listening or being present somewhere.

Here's a pro tip: just don't burn anything. If you're doing Life properly, people should want to build bridges to you. Let them. Don't burn down polite connections. Encourage them, support them.

Switching from burning to building was hard, so my first step was simply to stop burning. It was a habit for me to ignore, deflect, or detach from potential connections. Had to break that habit. I wasn't quite building yet, but at least I wasn't adding to the conflagration.

I wasn't the first one to build bridges, I was still in Human Torch mode. But seeing people reach out to me, support me, and look for ways to be helpful to me was more than impactful. It showed me how easy it is to do the same for them. And holy hell, every day is so much more rewarding now. Having people celebrate victories with me, even the small ones, makes all the hard work worthwhile. Having a team to fall back on in times of duress is like having a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Teamwork really does make the dream work. Yeah, I said it.

For all the people that made this post possible, thanks. I’m not an island because of you.

Iceyyy

Gaming Kor

Sam

Payton

CryptoCade

AD Thornwood

Priyanka

Jun

Grant

Abigail

Rachel

Zam

Mjr. Eazy

The World Doesn't End With You

Don't stay on an island, anon. Say hey. I'm never far.